So much more to be grateful for today, and I have been writing bits down all afternoon. But right now I find myself with a budding headache and eyes still crying. I’m grateful to be heading to bed early, with a full heart though an empty house. Topaz is such a small person, and takes up so little psychic space. I’m grateful she went for a walk with me this evening, and came right inside afterward. Meanwhile, there is a gaping void in every corner of the house, and blessed sleep is the only thing that will relieve that in this moment. I’m grateful for a warm bed and a roof over my head. I’m grateful for all the words of love and condolence, and all the help from friends today, and for resilience.
I’ve been so tired today. I’m so tired now. Some days are just like this. There were crazy drivers on the road this morning, and this afternoon. A large calf was running loose on the highway as I drove home from a Delta doctor appointment (all is well) with all the US50 detour traffic; and a huge flatbed truck that shouldn’t have been allowed on our little road came within an inch of scraping me into the ditch at the hairpin curve. For all the mindfulness training, I was frazzled when I got home, and I slept for three hours after lunch. Ever since I woke up I’ve thought of nothing but more sleep. Ok, that’s hyperbole, but it’s all I’m thinking about now.
I am so grateful that I am usually able to sleep through the night once I go to bed. I know so many people who can’t: who either just wake up way too early or wake up multiple times a night to pee, or can’t get to sleep for a long time, or never get to sleep. I’m grateful for sleep, for six, or seven, sometimes even eight hours of it, for the physical and mental restoration it bestows. I’m grateful I have a good bed in a sturdy house, and that I have the relative peace of mind to be able to close my eyes and rest my head and all the busyness within it for at least a good part of the night–and sometimes a good part of the day. I wish you good sleep. And if you have trouble sleeping, I suggest a Jennifer Piercy yoga nidra on Insight Timer to help you relax body and mind sufficiently to rest easy.