Tag Archive | feeling loved

Recovery

May4

Recovery means different things to different people in various contexts. Today, I’m grateful for recovery in the context of after-effects from the second shingles vaccine. It was important to get it. I’ve known too many people who have suffered horribly from shingles, a viral infection that causes an excruciating rash, potential blisters and long-lasting pain even after the virus has cleared. I’ve known people to have it on their back, side, even in their eye. If you’ve had chickenpox, that same virus lingers in your nervous system for life, and can manifest in later years as shingles. Ack. So at the gentle insistence of some people who love me, I finally gave in and got the first shot in December, and the second on Tuesday.

Wednesday I stayed in bed all day except for a short lunch break, and a short evening zoom break for a couple of meetings, where I attended in silence and with my camera off. It was, as my friend Chuck used to say, a very heavy gravity day. I could barely move, ate almost nothing, and choked down just a few glasses of water. I’m grateful that I felt much better when I woke alive this morning, and grateful for renewed motivation to catch up on a lot of work I missed during the first half of the week.

While I enjoyed a small helping of eggplant parmesan from the freezer for lunch, I’m grateful I felt energetic and creative enough this evening to prepare fish cheesos with a small tilapia filet I thawed in the afternoon. I made the shells by melting quarter-cup piles of grated cheddar at 400℉ for about eight minutes and draped them over wooden spoons to cool; then filled them with shredded romaine, sliced avocado, diced red onion, and fish drenched in lime juice then dredged in flour and fried. Topped with an avocado-spicy-mayo and squeeze of fresh lime, they were finger-lickin delicious. I’m grateful for eating and drinking today, including lots of cool, clean tap water.

My Birthday

Jan15
Some birthday presents, from friends who know me well!

I am grateful that I made it to 62. Grateful that my parents, despite their challenges, raised me well and with plenty of love, and raised me to hold certain values among which number … well, another time for elucidating those, but they definitely did their best, and I turned out pretty OK, and for that I’m grateful. I’m grateful to live this part of my life in this part of the vast world, surrounded by natural beauty, supportive community, and kind friends. I’m grateful that even in the social distance of Covid, I was able to celebrate my birthday all day long in many and wonderful ways.

I did get permission to share this one. Birthday zoom cocktails with my goddaughter (top right) in Brooklyn, and her mom, one of my oldest friends, and her husband, professional musicians near DC, who asked my favorite song and then sang it: I Can See Clearly Now.

I didn’t get done half of what I’d hoped to today, but that’s OK. I did connect with a lot of people, and allowed myself to receive their generous wishes for a happy birthday. I made connection a priority this day that comes but once a year, this precious day that will never come again. I’m grateful for all the warm wishes that came on Facebook, in the mail, by phone, text, email, zoom, and by special hand-delivery. For most of my life, I confess, I have not felt myself to be lovable: I must concede to the majority today, and acknowledge that all these birthday well-wishers can’t be wrong. I’m grateful, in this moment, to feel lovable, and loved. And loving.