I’m grateful for silence: for the privilege to live in a place where there are occasional moments of true silence, with barely a murmur from nature and nothing manmade. I once knew a deeper silence, before the ringing in my ears. Now, almost always when there is no external sound, and the songs and thoughts in my head are taking a brief rest, there remains a tone between my ears. Its exact nature varies but it’s always there. Except for very rare moments when it disappears, and suddenly a clear, open silence spreads through and over me, and everything else. I’m grateful for these fleeting moments of true silence, and for all the other times in my days where all I hear is the hum of life around me, soothing the buzz within.
Something else we have in common!
xoxox
SB
Including the buzz between the ears?
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That in particular. I’ve had pretty intense tinnitus for many years now: not so much buzzing, but ringing–on many simultaneous frequencies–and sometimes insect-like clicking. It never completely abates. Learning to live with such internal noise is indeed its own spiritual practice.
Yes, that’s what mine’s like too, variable, more often a tone like a tuning fork but steady. Damn. I don’t LIKE this spiritual practice. What’s up with it? Just so much external manmade sound? Mine actually began, I think, after I switched from a propane fridge, which didn’t make noise but did outgas, to an electric fridge which brought that nearly constant compressor hum into an otherwise deeply silent house.
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